I don't usually think of myself as being very religious. But sometimes I hear a message or a song and it hits me so deeply that I realize how much I do care about God.
That happened today as I was trying to do my homework and just browse some music for our band to try. And this song just hit me. I found myself crying because it expressed how I feel so precisely.
My favorite ages are between 6 months and 3 years. This video just gets me. So cute.
In recent years I've dreamed of working with kids this age for a living. I think a lot about why.
I think that I like kids because, in addition to being adorable and hilarious, they are simple. They are actually a lot more forgiving than most people.. which is a reason why it's so sad when they get hurt by bad people. I think kids will love anyone as long as they are there for them enough.
Sometimes I wonder if kids are such a comfort to me because I have these weird psychological issues about not being accepted and feeling like I can't deal with people that well. I often worry about disappointing people or letting them down in one way or another. People are sensitive.. complicated. Little kids are sensitive too, but I feel that taking care of them at a young age is pretty simple, even though it can be taxing.
Raising them is a little different... I think I will stress out a lot more about my own kids.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is not ambitious at all, but it's recently come to my attention that my lack of ambition may come from a very big fear of failure. So I wonder if I want to work in childcare because it's what I really truly want to do, or because I'm afraid to try at something that might tap into my true potential. If my true potential would be fulfilled in working with kids... is that something I'm okay with? I just don't know.
Anyway. I talk about myself a lot on here.
I heard this song in a coffee shop today and I thought it was nice.
