I've been thinking about myself a lot lately... getting caught up in my own life and feeling like I always have something to complain about. I don't really want to be that kind of person.
The other day, it was really rainy and I had to wake up for one of my classes after not having had much sleep. It was really hard to get out of bed because it was so cold and rainy outside. When I got to class, I found out class had been cancelled, so I was really annoyed that I had gotten up at all. But I was walking back to my dorm, and the rain had become really light, and the sun was out.
This is my favorite kind of rain, when it's sunny and rainy at the same time. And cool.
No one was walking around campus because people were in class or still in their dorms, and everything felt still.
I was so grouchy but in that moment I just remembered how small I was. How there's all this around me that I'm just never thinking about. I hadn't had a moment like that in a long time.
Just been caught up in my mind, in my small life.
It felt nice to know that I still smile at the rain and other pretty things. It made me feel like I hadn't completely lost touch.
But I don't like who I've been lately.
I feel like I could be a much better person.
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I had a kinda similar experience today.
ReplyDeletekinda finding a moment sort of thing
I was feeling really stressed and angry today. As i am driving home (cursing all the slow moving vehicles) I see this really beautiful dove at a stop light. I felt like part of me wanted to except the sight and calm down, knowing it would be good for me; but the other part of me just wanted to hate everything. Unfortunately hate won. And instead of calming down and finding peace, I just got more stressed out.
but things are better now.
imo, i think you're a pretty awesome person. that happens to have a lot on her mind and heart. and could use some r and r.